


Secrets

by Integral_of_Awesome



Category: Static Shock
Genre: Coming Out, Friendship, Gen, M/M, Male Homosexuality, Secrets, Sharon is a BA counselor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-31
Updated: 2013-01-31
Packaged: 2017-11-27 15:32:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/663609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Integral_of_Awesome/pseuds/Integral_of_Awesome
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sharon had seen this before.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Secrets

 

Secrets

Sharon saw troubled kids all the time. She saw them at the Center; she had gone to High School with them. Hell, she _counseled_ them daily. She was no stranger to the look in a kid's eyes when he was hiding something he thought he couldn't tell anybody. She'd seen the hunched shoulders, the half-hidden winces, the held tongues. Basically, Sharon had seen this before.

"Richie!" Sharon all but shouted as he nearly plowed her down in her own damn living room. "Virgil's not home."

Richie looked at her like he knew _exactly_ where Virgil was (which annoyed Sharon because _she_ didn't know where Virgil ever was) and said, "I know. I just left something here that I need to finish my repairs on Backpa-age. My repairs on the back page of our English project." Richie gave her a big, fake smile and looked a little like he wanted to fall on his own sword. "So, I'll just run up to Virgil's room to grab what I need for our English project and that back page I need to fix that I mentioned before, and I'll be on my merry way." 

Sharon grabbed his arm in her vice-like grip before he could escape. This was perfect. "Hold up, Richie. We need to talk." Richie paled (Sharon could actually _see_ the blood drain away from his face). "Calm down, boy! It's just talking." Richie made it look like "talk" was on the same level as "be taken out back and shot."

Richie didn't move on his own, so Sharon had to half-drag him to the living room, where she forced him onto the couch. "Listen, Richie, I know."

"I don't know what you're talking about." His face said differently.

Sharon rolled her eyes. "Please, boy. I'm not even half as oblivious as my idiot brother."

Richie scrunched up his eyebrows. "What are you-?"

"It's not that big of a deal, Richie. A lot of people are. I won't judge you for it."

Richie looked sincerely confused for a moment, like what Sharon was saying didn't match up with what Richie excepted (and wasn't _that_ going to give Sharon something to worry over later), but then, all at once, his face broke out into such pure- Well, Sharon had thought he was panicked before, but this was- Richie was hyperventilating. _Literally hyperventilating_.

"Sharon-" gasp "-I don't-" gasp "-I'm not-" gasp "-You can't-" gasp-

"Richie!" Sharon grabbed his arm firmly. He gasped a few mores times before getting his breathing under control, but his hands were still shaking. He raised his eyes up and looked at her, and he looked - He looked like Sharon was holding his heart in her hands and threatening to squeeze.

Sharon felt her gaze grow gentle. She'd done this before. "Richie, it's alright. _I know_." She held one of his hands in hers and hid her wince when he gripped back hard enough to hurt.

"You can't-" Richie swallowed, dropping her hands like they were the enemy and inching away from her. "You can't tell anyone."

"I won't tell anyone if you don't want me to, Richie, but you should really tell them yourself." If Richie's face was anything to go by, that wasn't the right thing to say. 

"This-" He paused and went cool and calculating like he was thinking something through- _really_ thinking something through. It was so strikingly different to how he'd been acting only moments ago that it gave Sharon chills. "It's not unnatural. Most species practice- From a strictly evolutionary stand point, the lack of procreation should create a predisposition against it, but procreation is hardly the only reason people have sex. In fact, since mankind has brought itself to the edge of over-population, it actually makes more sense now. And I've never been very religious, so I don't have to worry about that, but- 

"You see, these would all be very good reassurances if I was _worried about myself_ , but I'm not. I used to-" Richie clenched his fists "-I used to think it was wrong or dirty or whatever people think, but I don't anymore. I got over it, but people still- People will be freaked out. _Virgil_ will be freaked out. I don't want that, Sharon. I couldn't deal."

"I'm not saying Virgil's going to understand right away. He's still Virgil, and he can be so _thick_ sometimes, but he'll always be your friend." Sharon snorted. "Hell, if there was any way to stop you two being friends, I would have found it years ago."

Richie was shaking his head. "You don't understand. If my dad-" Full stop.

_There it is_ , Sharon thought grimly. "What about your dad, Richie?"

Richie trained his eyes on his shoes and shook his head again. "He'd kill me."

"Richie, he wouldn't-"

"No." Richie looked up, and there was a bright fire in his eyes. "He would. He wouldn't understand. He- Fuck, Sharon,-"

"Language!"

"-he could barely handle my best friend being _black_."

Sharon remembered that. She remembered Virgil coming home, hurt and confused. She also remembered the panic the next day when no one knew where Richie was. "You're father was terrified when you ran away, Richie. He loves you."

Richie sighed, sounding more resigned than anything. "I know he loves _me_ , but he won't love _this_. You should've heard him- This guy at work, his son is- Well, my dad comes home saying, 'No son of mine would ever _dare_. I'd beat it out of him if I had to.' I don't think he knew I could hear, but- There's this grate next to my bed..."

Sharon could picture it- Richie, sitting in his room, hearing all the horrible things his father said. For years. For his entire life. Suddenly, it was hard to swallow. "You can't hide forever, Richie."

Richie sighed again, aggravated this time. Richie was displaying a larger emotional range in this one conversation that Sharon had seen him use the entire time he and Virgil had been friends. "Stop saying my name. I've read that psychology textbook, and it isn't helping." Sharon wanted to knock him over the head for snapping like that, but she could let it slide this once. "Anyway, I don't have to hide _forever_. I only have one- Alright, fine one _and a half_ years left."

Sharon fixed him with a look. "Then what? Your dad will still be your dad."

Richie snorted and muttered, "'Cause me and him talk so much now, when we're under the _same_ _roof_."

Sharon continued like he hadn't interrupted her. "And Virgil will still be Virgil." That one hit closer to home. "Look, Ri-" Richie shot her a look. "Look, I'm not trying to force you to do anything. When, who, and how are all up to you. I'm just telling you that it's not healthy to keep it locked up, and there are people in your life who will be fine. Some who already are."

He didn't say anything for a moment. "Thank you. For not telling and for- Well, just for everything. I just- I can't. I just can't."

Sharon felt the words sink low in her gut. "Just remember that I'm always around to talk." Richie's shoulders sagged in relief. Sharon would let it go, for now.

___________________________

"Where's Richie?" Sharon heard her father ask and was a little surprised how unsurprisingly normal it was for her father to ask that question. Sharon wanted to point out that Richie didn't actually live with them, but she didn't think it would be appreciated.

"He's not coming over tonight." Virgil sounded a little bitter about that. Sharon half-expected her father to interrogate Virgil about that, but apparently he was giving Virgil his space because Virgil slunk into the living room and plunked down on the couch next to Sharon without another word.

Sharon was a little more nosey. "Well, then, what's wrong?"

Virgil looked up at her, surprised like he hadn't been radiating exasperation for weeks. "What do you mean?"

She sighed and set her book down on the coffee table. "I can't hear myself think over the sound of you moping, so spill. What's going on with you and Richie?"

Virgil huffed and crossed his arms over his chest petulantly, muttering "Ask Richie." Sharon leveled a stern look at him. "He's been distant. For almost a month, really. He's busy with something, but when I ask him about it, he gets all twitchy and then _lies_ to me. It's almost like-"

Virgil cut himself off. Sharon raised an eyebrow at him. "Almost like what, Virgil?"

Virgil ran his hands through his dreadlocks, shaking them out a little like he always did when he was frustrated. "It's almost like he's been seeing someone." Virgil huffed in irritation. "But if that's the case, I don't know why he won't just _tell me_. I mean- Richie can date whoever he wants to date, but I'd at least like to meet her. When me and Daisy were going out, I talked to Richie about her all the time. We even all hung out. We tried to double with Frieda and him, but that never seemed to take."

Sharon knew why Richie wasn't saying anything to Virgil, of course, but she'd promised Richie, and this was something he deserved to do on his own. "If that's the case, I'm sure he'll tell you when he's ready."

Virgil launched himself off the couch, pacing in front of her. "That's just it. I don't get what there's to be _ready_ for. Is he ashamed of her? Is he ashamed of me?"

He said the last part almost too quietly for her to hear, but she did, and she pulled him down into a quick hug before settling him next to her. "Richie would never be ashamed of you, baby brother. You're his best friend."

Virgil rubbed a hand against his forehead, anger bleeding into dejection. "I just keep thinking of Richie's dad, you know? I didn't notice that I never went over to Richie's house - that I'd never even _met_ his father - until suddenly there it was. Then, after everything that went down- I just figured we were beyond that now."

Sharon laid a hand on his shoulder, squeezing a little. "It's not gonna be like that time. I'm sure of it."

Virgil smiled at her for a second, but then he was standing up and walking away, a definite slump to his shoulders. "I have some stuff to do tonight. I'll see you later."

______________________

"What's his name?" Virgil and her father were out picking up dinner, and Sharon was alone with Richie for the first time since her confrontation.

Richie froze for a second, every muscle in his body tensing, but then he remembered that they'd already discussed this and relaxed almost immediately. Until, of course, her words sunk in, and then Richie was blushing like the pale, white teenager he was. It was almost comical to watch. 

He looked torn between refusing to answer and just giving in, but Sharon was staring him down. Richie never had a chance.

"Michael," he mumbled, not meeting her eyes.

Sharon "hmm"ed, raising an eyebrow she knew he could _feel_ because he still wasn't looking but his shoulders slumped a little more. "You know, Virgil thinks you're ashamed of him."

That perked Richie up pretty fast. "Ashamed? Of Virgil? That's ridiculous! He's my best friend. He's practically my brother. Of course I'm not ashamed of him."

_Good answer_ , Sharon thought smugly because she did care about Richie, but Virgil was her little brother. "He doesn't know what to think. He can't think of any other reason his best friend would neglect to introduce him to someone he's dating."

Richie rubbed a hand on his forehead and Sharon was reminded of when her brother had done the same thing. "It's not even that serious."

"Would you tell him if it was a girl?" Richie didn't answer, but that was answer plenty. "You have to talk to him, boy. Even if you don't tell him everything, you have to tell him something."

Richie sighed. "I know. I will. I'll tell him- something."

__________________

Richie obviously told Virgil something, indeed, if Virgil easing up on the I'm-not-moping-Sharon and Richie starting to come around the house more again were anything to go by. Richie also obviously didn't tell Virgil everything if Virgil's teasing, "Say hi to Mary-Jennifer-this-would-be-so-much-easier-if-you-just-told-me-her-real-name for me" was anything to go by.

Of course, there was still tension, and a hell of a lot of it. Sharon would walk in on tight silences where she was sure Virgil was trying to get Richie to open up and Richie was just not having it. Then, one day, Richie sought her out.

"We broke up," were the first words out of his mouth, and Sharon briefly wondered why Richie hadn't gone to Virgil (or really anyone else) before realizing that she was probably the only person Richie _could_ talk to about this.

Sharon decided that she could stand to play concerned almost-older-sister for a few minutes. "What happened?"

Richie dropped his head into his hands and sunk down onto the couch. "It was my fault. He told me he was tired of being my 'dirty little secret'-" Richie actually used air-quotes "-and that if I didn't tell everyone, we'd be over. I got a little angry and may have said something along the lines of, 'You're not worth it' which he didn't take kindly to at all."

Sharon snorted. "I can't imagine why."

Richie pretended like he didn't hear her. "There was a lot of yelling and name-calling (on both sides, I'd like to point out). By the end of it, we weren't together anymore."

"Are you alright?"

Richie blew out a harsh stream of air. "He wasn't wrong. I mean- I'm angry with him for giving me some stupid ultimatum when he knew- when I'd made it perfectly clear that I- But he wasn't wrong."

Sharon rubbed a hand across his shoulders. "It doesn't have to be all or nothing, Richie. Start small."

Richie pulled away from her, but for just a moment she'd thought- "No. Just-" And then he was gone.

___________________

Sharon instantly knew that something was wrong when Virgil walked through the door. He looked shell-shocked, like a leprechaun had just punched him in the gut and he was trying to make sense of it all with the air knocked out of him. She was worried.

"Virgil, what happened? What's wrong?"

Virgil turned his head toward her, but his eyes didn't find her. "Richie and me- We were arguing - God, I don't even remember what about - and then he- He said something, and I thought he was joking, but-" Virgil closed his eyes and rubbed at them viciously.

Sharon felt cold. "What did he say?" She didn't really need to ask.

"He just- I don't even know where it came from. He said something about how I wouldn't notice if a clue came up and bit me, and I yelled, and then he-"

Sharon shook his shoulder when he stopped talking. "Little brother?"

Virgil finally looked at her, and she wished he hadn't. "He said he was gay, Sharon."

"And what did you say?"

Virgil's face went blank for a second, then his hand rubbed across the back of his neck. "I didn't know what to say."

"What _did_ you say?"

He wasn't looking at her anymore. "I was so shocked. I-"

"Virgil!" Sharon demanded, a distinct snap in her voice because- God, she'd told him to tell Virgil. She'd told him over and over, but she hadn't meant like _that_ , and Virgil just- " _What did you say_?"

"I didn't say anything. I just left."

That's not how Richie would see it. "Oh, little brother."

"What?" Virgil was angry now. " _I didn't know what to say_. He just dropped it on me out of nowhere. That's not the kind of thing you just spring on someone. What was I supposed to do?"

Sharon flicked his ear to get him to calm down. It worked surprisingly well. "You, Virgil, were supposed to do pretty much anything but _that_." Virgil looked appropriately chastised. "Did you even think what that would look like from his prospective? Virgil Ovid Hawkins, he probably thinks you hate him."

"I could never hate him!" Virgil looked positively sick at the thought. "God, Sharon, I could never hate him. He's my best friend, practically my brother, I just- I didn't know what to do. I never thought Richie would be _gay_."

Sharon wanted to punch him a little, but she refrained because she knew this was hard for him. Virgil was kind and nonjudgmental and certainly not bigoted, but he wasn't like Sharon. He hadn't seen this before, and it scared him more than just a little. Still- "Virgil, whatever you may be feeling right now, just remember that Richie has probably felt that way, too. However hard it is for you, remember that it's harder for Richie, and that right now, while you have me and dad to talk to, he doesn't have _anyone_."

Virgil was off the couch then, hands clenching and unclenching nervously. "I should go.- Talk to him, explain myself," he said in a rush. Sharon smiled as he literally ran out the door.

________________________

Turned out, Richie was good at avoiding people when he put his mind to it because Virgil returned hours later with only a reserved head shake as answer. This pattern continued for three weeks. Richie wasn't _gone_ , he just wasn't quite _available_. Virgil swore that even when he managed to get Richie alone (which was, apparently, not often), Richie would come up with an epic distraction to keep them from talking.

Part of Sharon was worried that Richie would never sit still long enough for Virgil and him to finally talk, but part of Sharon was actually glad that Virgil was getting time to sort through his head because, even though he'd jumped off the couch intending on making things right with Richie, Sharon had been plagued by worries that Virgil would just stick his foot in his mouth.

Richie couldn't dodge Virgil forever, though.

Sharon wasn't there when the actual confrontation took place, but she imagined there was more yelling and then something happened to make them realize what idiots they were being. That was usually how Virgil and Richie resolved their conflicts. But Virgil and Richie didn't talk about what happened, so Sharon never found out for sure.

All Sharon knew was that one day she was sitting on the couch reading when Virgil stormed in, frustrated from another day of Richie's evasion tactics, and the next day Virgil and Richie walked in together, laughing at something that was probably incredibly nerdy and not even that funny to start with.

Sharon managed to grab Virgil alone for a minute and asked. "What happened? Are you two alright? What did you say? What did he say?-"

"Sharon! It's fine." Virgil cast a look over his shoulder at where Richie was in the kitchen. "We're fine."

Eventually everything settled back down to normal. Then, a few weeks later, Richie told Mr. Hawkins he was gay, and he had smiled and thanked Richie for telling him, but Sharon had always suspected that her father had figured it out even before she had.

Richie didn't tell his parents until he moved out of the house, but it even then wasn't pretty. His father did _not_ murder him with a dull kitchen knife (which Richie had insisted was a very likely possibility), but he did stop talking to Richie for a year. It was awful, and Richie had used every opportunity to tell Sharon "I told you so." 

That was another conversation that Sharon never got to hear, but, based on the state of Richie's eye and fist afterwards, she wasn't sure she wanted to have.

It wasn't until years later at a Christmas party (even Richie's father had come, if reluctantly) that Richie pulled Sharon to the side and said, "Thank, for what you did for me back when I wouldn't tell Virgil I was gay. I know I didn't tell him in the ideal way, but I don't think I would have done even that if it hadn't been for you, so thank you."

Sharon felt pretty satisfied after that.


End file.
